More Honeymoon Than Mortgage...
Right-Wing Catch Phrases Translated

Activist Judge: Any judge attempting to protect the rights of minorities or the disadvantaged, particularly homosexuals

Alternative Energy Resources: deregulated federal parks, forests and wilderness areas and any other new place to explore for oil

Bible based: Anything in the Bible supporting the right-wing agenda

Civil Liberties: Unnecessary privileges – especially those sought by God-hating, baby-killing, elitist liberals who loves socialism

Civil Right: The guarantee of equal rights to everyone as embodied in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution (excludes those invoked by gays, women, minorities and the poor and otherwise disadvantaged)

Class Warfare: Any attempt to raise minimum wage or taxes on the wealthy

Energy Independence: the wildlife relocation program

Faith Based Initiative: Payoffs to the Conservative Christian Right

Free Markets: No-bid contracts to Halliburton and other friends of the GOP and Tea Party

Gun Control: Your trigger finger

The Homosexual Agenda: Homosexual exercising free speech; destruction of the planet earth as we know it

Liberal Media Bias: The facts do not fit our narrative

Pro-Family Politician: Any divorced congressman late on child custody payments who is against gay marriage and gay adoption

Pro-Life: The strongly felt belief in the absolute sanctity of human life beginning at conception (or before if you live in Arizona). However, this belief is suspended for the lower class when they reach the age of military service, for abortion doctors, or pinky liberal socialist commies from Kenya (not saying any names…..)

Religious Freedom: The right to spread conservative held literalist Biblical beliefs

The Return to Traditional Values: Restoration of classic beliefs such as public lynching and women’s servitude

Shared Sacrifice: Lower salaries and benefits for the working class and lower taxes for the wealthy

Staying the Course: Doing the same thing over again expecting the same results

Traditional Family Values: Marriage is a man and a woman only, gays cannot adopt, women should be barefoot in the kitchen

Voter Fraud: Any significant voter turnout by minorities, women or the poor

Women’s Reproductive Health Services: A deeply personal medical decision made between a woman and her legislators

By Samuel Warde

Samuel Wynn Warde is the founder and editor in chief of the self titled website, Samuel-Warde.com, which specializes in social and political satire, liberal news commentary and what he refers to as “Photoshop Fun”. Samuel has lived in Buenos Aires since 2006 where he serves as the National Chairman of Democrats Abroad Argentina, the official Democratic Party for the thousands of Americans living in Argentina and is the editor in chief of Good Morning Buenos Aires, a news & information resource serving the international community of Buenos Aires.

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